lillamy,
This is a lot for me to chew. I grew up in a home where my dad was an abuser. He couldn't control his anger and physically and emotionally abused my mother and sometimes us kids. My AH doesn't hit me and only occasionally says something verbally that hurts my feelings and only when he's drunk -- never anything as often or as awful as my dad use to do so I've just never thought of him being in that definition or me living it still. Abuse light? I don't know but its a bit startling to think on.