Dentist...Worried...In Pain
Throughout the course of my addiction, I have really given my body a good ass kicking. My liver is kinda ******, My IQ has been lowered 27 points, Methadone made me gain alot of weight, I have chronic bronchitis. One of the worst things though is that my teeth are really really ****** up. I have had abcessesd tooth after abcessed tooth when I was useing, and it never bothered me, I'd just do more dope and it'd go away or become managable. Well since I've gotten clean, I have had 3 abcessed teeth and I have refused to go to the dentist. I don't think I have been to the dentist not loaded since I was like 12 and I'm afraid to go now. I feel like a big baby. Anyway, my sponsor told me friday night when we were at a local pizzaria (which I wasn't eating at since my mouth was killing me.) that there is a secret to getting rid of tooth pain, but I might not like it. I said, "what is it?" He said "go to the dentist." I'm trying to follow the suggestions of my sponsor, so I'm about to call and make an appointment, but I have all these thoughts running through my head about pain meds (my former dentist would write me a script of Oxy's for getting a cavity filled) and how I absolutely do not want to take any.
Last night at the meeting, a few people talked specifically about getting teeth fixed and medication and surgery etc... Well after the meeting, I went to my sponsor and asked him if what I had heard was correct. If I went to the dentist and told them I was in recovery and they insisted on writing me pain meds, I could take them as long as I gave them to someone else and followed the directions? He kinda laughed and told me it's between me and my concience and only I could determin if my pain was really bad enough to take pain meds for. He told me about non-narcotic pain meds like ultram and to be careful about that stuff too b/c it can get you loaded if you abuse it too. I'm just scared that I won't be strong enough to tell my dentist that I can't have pain meds. What if the pain gets really bad at like 3 in the morning? (I have to get alot of **** done and it's prolly gonna hurt like hell.) I really don't want to get loaded again. I know my body doesn't know the differance between Dr. perscribed meds and the **** I bought on the street. I keep hearing that "one is too many and a 1000 is never enough" thing in my head, but what if I legitamately need one? I'm afraid that I'll turn back into the cookie monster.