Originally Posted by Neagrm

Although my situation may be different from yours, I strongly relate to what you wrote. I am completely turned off when my spouse gets amorous even after only a drink or two. What exactly is it/how could it be expressed in words, how we feel and why we feel it?

It goes deeper than what it might appear. Is it something about respect, on many levels? When I tell my husband no, when he's UTI, I feel guilty and very selfish, but I still feel so repulsed I can hardly agree to it. What is that? (I don't use sex to manipulate/punish.)

Something about it doesn't seem genuine/real and it seems like my integrity is at stake. I remain true to myself, but at great cost.

What is it I'm feeling or thinking? I'd like to find the specific words for it and have more clarity instead of second guessing myself and feeling bad for something I don't know how to express ... other than something in me wants nothing to do with him when he's inebriated. In my case, fortunately he honors my "no." I still feel responsible and as if I'm being mean to not comply.

Thank you for bringing up this topic.