Hi Grind
yeah I'm shy too and I grew up with a host of insecurities, self esteem poblems and negative self talk.
I turned to alcohol to help but lookign back I can see all it really did was feed all that and make it worse.
It took some time patience and hard work, but I love my life now and I love myself - some stuff I changed - the self esteem and self hatred - other stuff I accepted - I'm kinda shy and not particularly socially adept.
Putting down the bottle is the first step Grind.
Welcome aboard
D