Today when talking with my husband, who is a pun-master, he said "What we have is "Post Not-So-Cute Syndrome."
Seriously, though, today I stepped right into the ring by trying to talk with her about how I want to be out of the middle of them, that it is hard for me to have them both scowling and avoidant...and boy, did I get it from her! So much emotion, so many old feelings are there, just under the surface, going back years into her very early teens. And everything he does, every facial expression, movement (like leaving the room if she happens to be there), is all about her (but it's not) and yet, she feels what she feels. I really don't want this short time with her at home to end badly. It has been so healing for her and me and our long-shaky relationship. It is as if she is that 14 year old again--angry and divisive--and I cannot do anything to move her more to the center, the calm, the trusting. Yes, that is my issue, I know. It is hard, and yet I don't regret having her home. I just want it all tension-free. That may not be possible. I am working to accept that. I should have just stepped out of the middle. Did I need to say anything, really?