I just found out about this place and want to introduce myself.
Today, after I made a fool of myself once again, I decided to stop drinking alcohol. I don't think I have a physical need to drink on a daily basis but I realise that alcohol has a negative effect on my social status, confidence etc.
Being a shy person I find it really hard to meet new people, express my feeling and having a good time on parties without alcohol consumption. It makes me feel better about myself and I gain the required courage to talk to members of the opposite sex for example or have a good time in general when going out. The problem is that I have absolutely no limits whatsoever and end up embarassing myself more often than not. After nights like that I feel like a wreck and can't even look at my friends or myself in the mirror and I want to change...
Embarassement is the absolute worst feeling for me with rejection being a close second and my alcohol consumption makes people shape up their oppinions about me in a way I don't like. I fear that with alcohol out of my life I am not going to be able to have fun at all when going out (can't possibly imagine going to a party without drinking - I lose interest in attending if there is no alcohol involved), lose my drinking buddies and have an extremely difficult time creating new social contacts - I freeze and act silly most of the times when I talk with a girl without being atleast a little drunk. I destroyed my only serious relationship because of alcohol and made a fool of myself countless times but yet I am not sure I can stop drinking.
The events that lead me to seek out this place and want to give another try to stop drinking happened testerday. I went out for the first time with my new colleagues and got all messed up. I got upset over some insignifficant stuff and acted aggressively and insulting towards people that tried to help out so now most everyone think I am a piece of s##t and I feel sooooo down... What a great first impression.
I am really lost and don't know if I can stop this because of the way it makes me feel but overall alcohol has caused me a lot of pain and I need to change. I don't know where to start and how to do this but I'll give my best this time out. Thank you for reading this.
