Originally Posted by
Kboys 
My AH has made comments like that too.
Just the other day we were talking about planning a weekend away without the kids, and he said, "I would be 'allowed' to have a drink if we did something like that, right?"
I didn't respond, but it made me really sad. It really made me realize he has no intentions of staying sober long-term.... And it made me realize this is ALWAYS going to be an issue. We will never be able to take a vacation or a night away from the kids without me worrying, and him wishing he could drink, and feeling resentful for not being "allowed."
Is this really what I want?
Yes, I am in the same boat. It's like he is just waiting for me to give him the okay to drink, and he will always be covertly resentful for me not wanting him to drink.
I told him the other night that whereas he sees it as sort of a threat of me leaving him if he drinks, I told him the opposite. I told my husband that me giving him permission to drink is sort of like ending the relationship, because I would be allowing him to do something in which he is likely to do something so bad that I cannot forgive him and will have to leave.