I have hit a brick wall and don't really know where to turn, so here I am. I need some new light on this whole situation. I guess I'll start from the beginning and I'll try to keep it short if there is such a thing.
He is my friend, known him most of my life. He's always been a little crazy, the type of crazy that everyone finds charming and somewhat endearing. Then the day came when he went off the deep end and started down the highway to hell, which as you all know, isn't so charming or endearing.
Now he's been clean and sober for almost 2 years but I feel like we are on some kind of emotional highway to hell of our own. We aren't dating. But we aren't not dating either.
The cycle pretty much goes like this: Things are good. He takes me out on Friday nights and I hang out with the family on Sunday afternoons. I get hugs and winks and those sweet text messages that leave you feeling just happy-go-lucky!
But then things get dark. He gets annoyed or mad. Sometimes I know what it is (or what is bothering him that has nothing to do with me at all) but other times I have no idea so I'm left to analyze my every move. I get the silent treatment and the cold shoulder and it just makes me want to crumble to pieces because I feel like he doesn't even like me as a person.
He's told me before how selfish he is. He knows he's an a-hole. He knows his relationships with women are mess. <- Yes! He SAID those words.
But then some days it's this attitude of "I do what I want." He's actually said those words too. Somedays I am the selfish one who is acting crazy and he owes me nothing. AND let's not forget, that he is never, ever wrong.
Is this an alcoholic thing? Is this a trait or something? Because I'm really confused on how someone can be so grateful and then turn around and treat someone like this. Is it a control thing? Maybe it's not an alcoholic thing at all, maybe it's just the person that he is.
I used to think his ex girlfriend was crazy. But now. Now I see it. The push and shove, the love and hate. I can see how it can really drive you crazy! Because I mean, here I am posting my problems on the internet!
