Welcome!
Yep, like a lot of us, you have given yourself plenty of evidence that alcohol does not work for you and in fact only leads to suffering.
There is suffering in life without us acting to create it. We need not accelerate the natural suffering by making more!!
Good news: there is also a ton of Joy in life and in sobriety we magnify and truly experience it.
Join us, and leave that madness behind. You can change your life for the better incredibly and you've already begun that by posting what you did.
Welcome aboard, we are here to help.