Sorry you're hurting Doppelganger
There's something I heard in an alanon meeting that I've repeated here before but it bears repeating again.
"Take responsibility for the choices we have made in our life"
In that phrase you quoted from openseason "she had to cope" I tend to believe the reality is She chose to cope, and that's ok.......unless the situation is so unhealthy that it negatively effects your life. I have chose to cope too because the positives out weigh the negatives for me right now. There's still a lot of struggles but I am trying to take responsibility for the choices I have made. I'm doing this by working the program and trying to look at myself. It's of course very hard when, in my eyes the A is always screwing up and I'm carrying more than my fair share of the load. I also get very upset about it. When this happens I try to look at my motives, what I'm getting out of it, why am I so upset and how can I constructively deal with it. There's a lot of stuff with the $ too. With each mistake I make, I'm learning how to do it different the next time. I hope I follow thru.
I loved what you said about him using you as a life preserver when you are both bad swimmers and complaining about it but that you allowed it. I believe it's OK to forgive people because you want them to be a part of your life. God chose you to be a strong soul, it's your fate. If you want to keep him in your life then look to others for things that he can't provide. I have learned the limits on some of my relationships in my life. For example I have a friend who is a lot of fun but has the biggest mouth of anyone I've ever known. I truly love this friend, I just choose not to tell her anything too personal and I have put up a boundary that I don't want to hear about anyone else. We get along beautifully and thank goodness I have another friend I can trust implicitly.
Know your limits with certain people and take responsibility for the choices you have made. If those choices are not working for you anymore than it may be time to make some new ones. Maybe this is one of the times JT talks about. She says, you don't have to do anything and when it is time to make a decision, you'll just know.