pity party coming on
So all of my hangovers that caused me to call in or leave work early have cost me financially. I'm selfish. I know it! And I want to change. That's why I've quit drinking! But its so easy to let an argument derail my thinking. He's right. I know but it hurts to deal with it. But the fact of the matter is that I cannot afford to spend $200 on a gift that he wants. I messed up but I can't undo what I've already done and he just wants to be sour with me over it. Ugh.. how can I just sit and take the guilt trip?? He really has put up with a lot from me and I want to just say screw it and put myself into debt but I'm afraid I won't be able to get out of it if I just keep doing that. So.. I'm still being selfish. I think he is too though. I don't dare tell HIM that though. I don't want to hear all the **** he could, and would, say back. Drinking will surely make all of this much worse so I won't go there but I don't feel too great about sobriety right now.