Hi Brynn, I sympathize with the situation you find yourself in. The way I see it you will not be happy and find the answers until you stop drinking. This is the most important first step so you MUST protect that almost at all costs. A clear sober head will see things and understand in a way that a clouded alcoholic head will not.
If this means moving out for a little while then I think it's a small price to pay for your happiness. The reason so many are recommending what seems to you to be such a drastic step is because they know you are extremely unlikely to succeed in staying sober in your current environment and they also know how amazingly worthy the goal of sobriety is.
Maybe move out when he is at work and explain your reasons to him in an email and note for him to read and reread. Then you can tell him you will be happy to meet at a coffee shop after you have been sober for a month. That will give him food for thought and time to decide how he wants to play it. It he is abusive or still drinking heavily when you meet then you will know that there is a tougher decision to be made.