Brynn, I can totally understand. I was a secret drinker, and no one knew (although I imagine some might have suspected). My sense of shame (as a child, as an adult) is part of what stopped me from reaching out for help, and contributed to my addiction too.
But please do nor let feelings of shame stop you from reaching out. Is there one trusted person you could turn to? Alternatively, you don't have to tell them you're leaving because you're trying to get sober. You could say that you and your partner are having a conflict and just need a little break. It strikes me that isn't a lie.
xo