Realizing that drinking normally was just a fantasy. That many of the bad things that happened to me involved booze. That I was soooo tired of how awful and scared and strange I felt after drinking. That I was going to get hurt, or hurt someone, or get in trouble. As my drinking got bigger, my world was getting so small.
After 13 months sober, I can definitely say it's infinitely better than the last few years of struggling to stay in control. Onwards and upwards!!!