Originally Posted by esinger

Some people can moderate. They can take it or leave it. I used it to mask the pain of life. Once we get to this point, imho, there is no moderation. I don't know you but it sounds to me like that's what you are doing. I've also been to the point of saying screw it and trying to drink myself into oblivion.
It may not seem so now but life is a gift and we need to embrace it. It's way too short.
Try to look at the positive things in your life and let go of the things that are stressing you out. There will always be things that are beyond our control but you will learn with a clear head, they are never as bad as we make them out to be in our minds.
Like several people have said, it might be in your best interest to seek medical attention.
You CAN beat this. Take care.