Hey there sweet Northern Light,
You mean a lot to me. Haennie makes some good points about life lived with intensity (& she said them delicately too; I'm not always as graceful). I have some parallel challenges - I feel things deeply. Alcohol gives me a break from that intensity; that's why I always returned to it. The touching home place, where I could just "be."
Anyway, you're amazing, & right in track to learn your next thing. Message me if you need any support...
Also - he sounds like an abusive ass. You owe him no respect. Rat him out - to your mom (stepmom?), to animal protection... Protect the animals!!