Lovely Nuu,
I've barely been here recently. But just wanted to say how much I admire you.
The dam breaks: yeah, it sure does at times, when we least expect it. Or when we truly only see it in retrospect. Major life stressors - especially so many coming one after the other, and all at once in waves....extremely difficult.
We are still human beings.
I can't offer you anything more than my virtual support currently (relapsed myself during the last few weeks, made worse by news of my older sister taking her own life on 10 Nov, even though clean for 24+ years in NA.).
So glad you have your friends here in SR village, and your counsellor.
Much love, Vic