Going to detox for the first time -scared
Monday morning, I'll be going to the area detox. I'm a bit scared, and have feelings of guilt and shame because I still have that thought in my head that I should be able to just pull up those proverbial boot straps. Much of my family doesn't understand and worry about my job (I have good job despite no education and I think my constant feeling of not being deserving of it plays a role in my never-ending relapse after I got this job two years ago). But I know without sobriety, I'll have nothing. It's a matter of time. They don't realize I drink at work, and I'm ashamed to say it because though they try to understand alcoholism, at the mention of really unacceptable behaviour (drunk driving, morning drinking, drinking at work, etc.) they're complete baffled as to how someone can do that. Rambling, as usual... but I guess I'm just scared because I have 48 hours before entering detox and I'm already playing the record in my head of 'are you really an alcoholic? Why are you going to detox - you're not shaking/in danger of fatal withdrawal???' But I KNOW that's my AV/fear talking. I just need to remember that.
People here told me that detox really helped them - my question is did it help anyone that didn't necessarily need the medical attention? I have this idea in my head that detox is for people who are so progressed in their disease that they can die coming of booze, but I'm not one of those people (I don't mean this in a denial way, more of a non-deserving way).