Hi Nudawn
No point focusing on the past or other ppl i know your hurting but it will only eat you up
if you have known stuff has been building up the best thing you can do is release that pressure in more positive ways ie being here/meetings/councellor/phoning someone you trust
we are all 5000% here for you if you let us be
i hope it goes well with councellor tomorrow
big hugs Nudawn