Seems like a good opportunity to practice acceptance.
Accepting your wife's action as being more about her than about you... about her concern and her fear and her confusion.
You probably feel betrayed, mistrusted, hurt.
She probably does too.
It might be a good opportunity to practice compassion - for yourself in recognizing your anger is really about your hurt, about your guilt, about your shame.... about the reality that you've actually given your wife reason to be afraid and mistrusting.... and to practice compassion for your wife. Maybe this is a good opportunity to comfort yourself by telling yourself "I understand why you feel hurt, it makes sense, but I still love you."
It may be a good time to comfort your own hurt and to offer some comfort to your wife by simply saying "My counselor told me you'd called. I'm sure that this relapse has caused you fear and pain and confusion. I can imagine you are in need of comfort and support, too and I can understand that reaching out to my counselor may have been one of the only directions you felt you could turn. I'm sorry my actions have continued to bring you suffering. I love you, and I'm working on this."
It may be a good opportunity to practice humility....