i can never come to see or believe in a god like some people do, when they talk about a god removing there compulsion for drink or god protected them from losing there driving license or going to jail or losing there wife etc
it just doesn't make any sense to me as i lost the lot and no one protect me from all the pits etc
so that then opens the question up that if there is a god and god protect some it would mean god doesnt protect others
when it comes to life and death the question again would be that god would save some and then let others die
when i watched how my little lad suffered with his cancer and all his fears of death as he was only 16
i knew without any doubt left that there can not be a god that can sit back and let it happen if they have that power
on a positive side of things i am not angry at anyone for losing my son, i have come to accept its life its how life is for some
i have also come to understand just what powerless really is having to sit and watch helpless as my son died, i would of given my own life to save him if i could but there was nothing i could do but just be there for him every min of the day
so getting angry at anyone or anything else is just a waste of me time and effort and energy and it will never bring my son back or change what has happend
but i can change what happens in my day either sit there feeling low and sorry for myself and blame everything and everyone or get off my back side and go and do something positive like help someone else etc
i know if i sit and do nothing i will only get worse and who knows where that will take me so i have to do things this way in my life today otherwise i will suffer even worse