how do i stop hating God?
So here's my deal...my Mom's brother (her only sibling) jumped off a frogdamn bridge to his death early this year. Her parents finally relocated to be close to her, my dad and and sister just before then. Things were rough but we supported each other. Just a couple of months ago, my Mom's dad (Daddy Irvin) got diagnosed with terminal esophageal cancer. Expect a year or so. Well, at least we'll have Christmas, right? Wrong. He gets admitted to the hospital a little over a week ago because he can't eat and he's stove up (read: constipated). It's been DAYS. He's retaining fluids and we just now find out that his heart is failing. I'm 2500 miles away. I'm about as useful as **** on a bull. This past Sunday, he died. Now, my Mom is dealing with a senile, mobility impaired Nana and my Dad who is still too busy with work and all of the stress dealing with her father's death. My sister is showing up but i foresee them coming to hate each other. I'm heading back home and can all i can see is a very sad Christmas Day as we will be missing my Uncle AND my Daddy Irvin. Why couldn't God give us these tragedies in digestible chunks? If God doesn't care, why should I? I really, REALLY hate GOD right now. I'm angry, Angry, ANGRY!!!!!!!!! I don't know where to go right now. My heart hurts so much and i don't know how to stop being angry and sad.