Thanks MissOverIt and Dee, my family and friends all know I have a problem with alcohol, Ive admitted to most that Im an alcoholic and have been in and out of AA since my late twenties (Im 34 now), the majority of my non drinking friends in AA and out and family don't realise that I have been sneaking a few here and there over the past week, haven't been blackout drunk in that time but know Im lying and deceiving people who care about me.
Ive had several warnings from doctors and hospital specialists that I need to stop drinking totally for at least 6months for my body to heal but yet I can't seem to do it, managed about 11weeks before the last slip in end of October and apart from a few days here and there Ive drank since.
Made it through today sober so I have a chance just find it hard to deal with regret shame and guilt and they all intensify when my head clears from the drink so its a vicious circle- I drink to avoid emotions I don't like but know deep down its making everything worse.