I come to a point where I just want him to choose them 100 percent and stop leading me on. I want to have this end.
Aww, sweetie, I am sorry this hurts so much.
You know when it ends? It ends when you say "enough, no more" not when he does it again...and again...and again.
I like what jjj suggested, grab the plates yourself, plan a beautiful Christmas for your kids, and set yourself free...mentally, if not physically.
Hugs