Originally Posted by Katchie

He slept some of the dunk off but not enough, just enough to not be stumbling around. The hour drive to the boys ball game was silent except for my singing to the radio. I noticed his movements were slow, like to scratch his head his hand raised slowly to do it. I figured that was still the affects of the crown royal he drank -- his fav.

We get to the gym and park ourselves on the bleachers next to my best friend and neighbor whose son plays on the same team as my kids. The game starts and by the second quarter my AH is screaming at people in the bleachers across the court challenging them to a fight. By some miracle he didn't get thrown out and I was able to calm him down after the 3rd or 4th attempt. "yeah, I'm looking at you!" What an idiot. When the game was over I hurried to the car hoping no one from the opposing side is as stupid as my AH and wants to pick up where they left off. We drive home in silence.

I went to bed & tried to calm my mind and empty it but cant. My stomach is in knots. Here it is 2:48 a.m. and I can't sleep but he is sleeping just fine. I've decided in the morning after the boys go to school and before he's had a drink to tell him that if he chooses to drink during the day he is not to come home. He's not to go to the games with me as his chauffeur after he's been drinking and he certainly won't sit with me. Its freaking embarrassing. Then after the game he stood up and said he would go kick someones a**. Whatever. This is a freaking Christian school for pete's sake and he's saying crap like that out loud! I cannot stand to be around him in that state.

Sorry for the rambles. It sucks. I'm tired and can't sleep. My stomach is yuck and there isn't a place in the world other than here to really turn to and spill my ugly guts. I know he doesn't drink at me..I read that and get it but it still feels so personal after 22 years of marriage and 4 kids later.