KIR, it sounds like you have come to a place of real clarity and determination! Have you ever heard that Paul Simon song "50 ways to leave your lover?" You should give it a listen. It's all about how breaking up is often not as hard as it seems, once you've set your mind to it. "Just drop off the key...and set yourself free." Get yourself a screwdriver and take those plates, change the locks, and think about something delicious you can cook on Christmas. A new life awaits!