When you accept who they really are.
Again, I got massively upset bc I let the addicts manipulation work on me. Somehow I'm dumb enough to believe that change is possible. Maybe it is for a few .... But honestly, the drama and lies that are created due to his addiction ruined any hope I have for my family coming out of this as a whole. I can't trust him, rely on him, enjoy anything with him. He's a liar and makes any excuse he can to leave for his previous sweet drugs. I come to a point where I just want him to choose them 100 percent and stop leading me on. I want to have this end. But, addiction can't just hurt the people who choose the drugs... It has to hurt the innocent. I chose sobriety 5 plus years ago and clung to it bc I loved my kids. Because my babies needed me happy, healthy and productive. Because I had a sense of responsibility to give them a childhood. I should have never married him. I shouldn't have done many things but hindsight is 20/20 and now the consequences are here. I hate drugs. I hate that they steal families. I cannot see a future with who this husband is. He's showing me who he really is. A selfish liar that will do anything for himself. He knows what drugs do, and he CHOOSES them. I hate drugs, and right now I hate him.
I'm pretty sure the love I have for him is the potential I see. Not for what really is. I stay for the 6 months things are wonderful....
Now that my eyes are open I walk through the pain. But I need strength for what is to come. I need strength and clarity to make the smartest strategic choices for my own good.
#1 is figuring out how to get my license plates of his truck.
#2 giving my kids the happiest time of year despite their father choosing drugs over them.
He knows how to get help. He chooses not to.