@ irisgarden
thanks for your post there and i really dont know how you can have faith in a god if your child died its beyond me ?
if one of my kids got into trouble i would have to do everything that i could as i wouldnt trust a god at all as my son died and no one and nothing could save him
he was the sweetest kid in the world he never did anything wrong to anyone and yet there are such horrible people alive in this world it really makes no sense to me at all
so like i said if another of my kids was in trouble praying to a god would be the last thing i would do as i said i would have to do all i could to save them myself
i know many would say you have to let them go but for me after losing a kid there is no way i could sit back and let another one go off and suffer i just couldn't do it
the problem is people have to live with themselves after the child dies and if i hadnt done all i could to save mine then i couldnt live with it after wards
i look at my ex wife and she is getting on with her life i am sure she misses my son but she wouldn't do anything to help him as she isnt like me hence i ended up with the care of the kids and not her
i put it down to her drinking and how its effected her but being honest it has nothing to do with her drinking its how she was even when the kids were small if the kids fell over she would just tell them to get back up and not bother wiping away there tears were as i would be the one to pick them up and give them a hug wiping there tears away
so there is a huge difference between me and her in how we think feel and react to things for me my kids have always been my life and always will be hence i couldnt tell anyone to not look after there kids no matter how much suffering is going on as if they do end up dying then you have to live with it for the rest of your life
my ex wife can live with it but i couldn't so i guess its down to each person and how they could cope if the worse came to the worse
for me losing my son has been the most soul destorying thing i have ever experienced in my life and its still like that today just so empty without him around even though i have my other kids
but its certainly changed a lot of the ways i view things in life.