I'm three days sober and I feel your pain. You wouldn't feel this terrible about yourself if there wasn't a problem. There were those days in high school when I would wake up and say wow! I'm so hungover, what a great night!
Those days are long gone. Every time I drink now no matter how drunk I get, I wake up the next day and hate myself. Not for the way I feel but for what I've continued to do to myself.
I just lost the best thing that ever happened to me. She stuck with me through two tours overseas and couldn't wait to have me home. Then I got home and wasted what little time we had with drinking.
I'll never forgive myself for that. But, it will never happen again. Your family loves you bro. You got this.