i know only to well what its like to sit and watch a child die right in front of my own eyes and there was nothing i could of done to save them,
my child died of cancer and was just 16
i had to give up work to be with him 24 / 7 we had to manage on very little money coming in as i am a single parent who partner has never paid a single penny for our kids upkeep as she has nothing herself as she is a drinker and is living with another drunk so it lost in that lifestyle at the present
in just 8 short months my son went from a healthy kids who had everything to live for, to just a skeleton who couldnt eat or drink anything and was in constant pain living off morhpine to keep him out of pain
i even had huge rows with the drs as they couldnt increase my sons morhpine to keep him asleep and out of pain as they were scared they would kill him ???
so he had to die slowly and painfully without even being able to take a simple drink of water to quench his thirst
i honesty wanted him to die as quckly as he could as it was just so hearbreaking to watch him suffer like he was doing
there was no help there for him he had no options of trying to turn his life around as the cancer didnt give him any chance
all i know is i did what ever i could to try to ease his suffering even going out late at nights to the local cinemas as its the only place that sold slush drinks he could sip them via a straw to get some sort of liquid inside of him
he has been dead for 2 years now and there isnt a single moment i dont wish he was still here or his siblings wish he was still here
so i know only full to well how it is to watch a child die before the eyes so all i can say to you is be there for them and help them all you can as kids are so precious
i know many people would say you have to cut them loose and let them fall hard and i understand that as its what had to happen for me when i had my own problem with the drink i had to lose it all and end up on my own before i woke up and took some action
but i know for parent who loves there kids its never going to happen well certainly not for me as i couldn't let my kids suffer the way i did if i had the power to help them
if i could of given my own life so my son would still be here today i would of done so
its that feeling of being so helpless and powerless that hurts as there is nothing we can do other than just be there
i even prayed to a god for help everyone i knew was praying for him as there was nothing else anyone else could do either
all we had was a faint chance of hope but in the end there was nothing in the world or anywere that could change the outcome
my son although was so scared of dying and full of fear and begged at times that he just wants to live and please somoene help him which broke my heart even more as i couldnt even put my arms around him and tell him its all going to be ok as for him it wasnt all going to be ok
its just a nightmare for any parent to watch a child die i can only hope your child gets there act together and take full advantage of the help out there for them
i feel it for all parents who are stuck in that nightmare world of watching helpless, or clinging on to hope
for me that side of things is over and i have instead got to live life without him, xmas is fast coming up and in our home its going to be like morge instead of all the excitement and fun that used to go on
it will be the 3rd xmas this year i go and place a present on my sons grave along with his siblings all we would want for xmas is for him to still be with us
so l hope no others have to end up in my postion but sadly they do as everyday dam day a child is dying from something or other.