Originally Posted by
Lovenjoy 
it's like i'm standing on shore watching him drown and making a conscious decision not to help. as a parent how do we do this without losing a part of our soul?
You don't. Standing back and watching your child struggling like that is an incredibly difficult thing to do. It goes against every paternal/maternal instinct you have.
But the thing about trying to rescue someone who's drowning is they'll pull you down with them if you're not careful.
So sorry that you're having a hard time.