Oh how I wish I had a real keyboard! Thanks all. I'm surprised by this, though I know I shouldn't be! He has been very, very good - life has been better than ever, though we've been through big changes. It's been mostly a positive journey since we started, and I JUST started to trust him enough that I gave up my own place 2 months ago. I don't know what to say when he finally sobers up and calls me. I know that what I say won't affect his drinking or not - I just will say the truth I guess...
I am FAR ahead of where I was 16 months ago. Far enough to forget that literal pain I felt on realization, though!