the spider thing is just him grasping at straws. He is very good at manipulation and he will even admit it when he is drunk enough. Our therapist even said during our first visit that he has yet to realize how much pain his drinking has caused.
I'm alot stronger than I was 7 months ago when this whole thing. I just try to keep focused on the day/current situation. Posting here about what has happened helps me- even for me to look back and be able to have a time line as to how things have progressed.
I do believe he has been drinking both times he has stayed here. No evidence found but it is just a gut feeling I get when I walk through the door. Maybe a lingering smell?? This time he left a bunch of stuff, including his phone charger. Supposed to stop by today to see the kids after work. Not holding my breath...