kidsR#1......I agree with you. It doesn't sound like he has made the connection between his alcoholism and the havoc it has brought. Not, yet...LOL!
16 days of AA is a start, of course....but is not enough to bring recovering. A person has to work a program with intensity--as a number one priority in their life. It takes a lot of determination, on his part.
If he goes to AA long enough...AND OPENS HIS EARS....they will inform him of just what working a program entails. Other alcoholics are the best people to get through to another alcoholic. Of course, many people can sit in an AA meeting---especially if they are doing it to satisfy someone else or get them off their back--and not really let it soak in. Like it is said: "Just sitting in a garage doesn't make you a car".
Here is the thing---you can't do much about what he is doing. You can only hold up your side of things. You have to draw the boundaries for yourself. You have to decide what you want--what you will put up with---what you want and need your life to look like. Your happiness is in your own hands.
Above all---do NOT expect him to agree with anything that you say or do. Do NOT expect that he will co-operate. He will, most likely will throw sh*t loads of blame and accusations your way. He may play the victim and push your guilt buttons until you give in. Or he may get angry and revengeful if the victim, sad role doesn't work.
Remember that his is still operating with the alcoholic brain and the alcoholic THINKING. He sees the world through that filter. He always will..until he gets enough recovery to change his thinking...which will change his attitude...which will, ultimately, change his actions. This takes a while, though....And, he will only do it when he decides that he wants his life to change. That is all on his side o f the street.
I recommend that you worry about your side of the street. He will do what he is going to do....the real question is always..."what are YOU going to do?"
dandylion