dandylion- He says he is working a program. In his eyes, going to AA meetings for the last 16 days, having some counseling is working a program. His goal is definitely to get back in the house. Staying here when we are gone reminds him how nice and comfortable it is here. He hates where he lives (but in my eyes has done nothing to change that, like get a place closer to work that has heat that is not so far away from work. I know of people that he could ask and would probably let him stay with them with little to no rent. But that is up to him I feel- to change his living arrangements.)
There really was no separation agreement. I kicked him out after a binge back in August where he came home drink while I was watching other kids in my care (I do informal day care in my home.) Told him to go work on himself and that I needed time and space to do the self for me and the kids. Never put conditions on how often or how long he can visit. I just need to be here or my in laws when he visits.
After 3 months of being separated I gave him the opportunity to watch DS while I took DD to a party. When I got back he was obviously drunk. He had been drinking while watching our 4 yr old and I was MAD!! He blamed his drinking on me of course b/c I was not letting him see his kids.
I guess more will be revealed in time. When I talk to his close friend about all this he asks me if AH wants to move home b/c it is convenient. That probably is his motivation at this point of wanting to be here- because it is easy.