Hi Buggirl. You know life doesn't move in straight lines and it's not always fair or reasonable. I am sorry to hear about your father, it sounds difficult to deal with and I went through something similar a few years ago.
What i can tell you is that you need to decouple drinking from the other things that are happening in your life. If you drink it will do nothing to help your father and it will worsen your financial situation and it will also worsen your anxiety most likely.
PLEASE....stay sober and the rest will come together for you in time. Good luck.