Buggirl.... I understand where you are at. I have many debts still to pay. But let's look at this from a realistic perspective.
I have one of two directions. Make it worse by drinking and not paying bills with that money. Or live through the TEMPORARY pain of paying the debts and moving on.
I choose to take the pain. Know I have control over the inevitable outcome. And move past it.
I don't know for certain what will be next after that. But I know that without drinking I can be certain what it won't be.
Good you are venting here. It sucks sometimes and no one knows that like we do on SR.
Good to see you!
K