Hello Jsbodhi,
The blackouts are to remind you of how powerful a poison alcohols really is.....cunning, baffling, and very patient. Remember alcoholism is a progressive disease. The damage we do to our brains and our bodies, only gets worse, if we continue to drink, until it takes our life. The blackouts are a warning. Sobriety will allow you to let go of the shame, and the guilt, and remember everything you did.