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Old 11-28-2014, 08:23 PM
  # 28 (permalink)  
Stung
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Silicon Valley, CA
Posts: 2,066
seeing he corrected himself quickly you could give him a little reward by saying something along the lines of 'I'm hurt that you lied, but thanks for admitting it so quickly.' At least that gives him some encouragement to correct himself if he does it again.
I could but I tend to be controlling and he (and he's recently become very aware of this) seeks validation from me. I also seek validation from him. One of the reasons that he didn't want to come back over here this evening is because he wants to try to validate himself rather than putting himself right next to me when he's feel ashamed and going for his old 'feel good' source. There is a fine line here and I'm trying to be conservative.

I communicated that I know that it's not about me and my hurt feelings aren't necessarily about him but rather that I feel stupid for believing him. I'm not mad at him and he knows that. There was no argument today and we're planning on talking later after his last meeting. He is mad at himself and I'm kind of mad at myself. He didn't lie to me about doing anything shady - he made a VERY *gross exaggeration, and I'll be fair, he has been doing this stuff since I met him.

*I mean gross in the careless meaning, not the ew meaning.
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