Kensho

Don’t beat up on yourself. I had it pretty easy: we had dinner at my wife’s daughter’s place, and no one was drinking (maybe partly for my benefit). Had I had 1 ½ glasses of wine, I would have had a lot more on top of it. I’m not saying that means you can do that makes it safe for you (only you know that); just saying it could’ve been worse—and for me, would have been.

By the way, Ground Hog Day is one of my favorite films of all time—not just the great comedy, but because it expresses some deep philosophy (which Murray knew, I think): The chronic nihilist (Murray) gets stuck in the “eternal recurrence of the same”, panics, then falls prey to acute nihilism (e.g., the suicide attempts), and ego inflation (“I’m god—well, not the god, but a god”), then finds amor fati—“love of fate”, the ability to embrace his fate, and pursue a flourishing life anyway . . . That’s part of it, anyway.

So, your avatar makes me think: maybe part of my “eternal recurrence” is alcoholism—both the drinking itself, and whatever are the underlying causes: neurology, psychology, etc. And the AA 1st Step is just about my acknowledging and embracing that “fate”, and perhaps that very fate—unwanted to be sure—is what might lead me to a more flourishing life (in sobriety) than I might have had otherwise. It certainly is making me dig deeper into my own spiritual path.

That might be a bit convoluted—and is my long-winded way of saying, Thanks for being here.

Be well.