Originally Posted by
thotful 
That's the major reason I stay away from any "family" functions. The "under the rug" approach to conflict. Oh no, let's not talk about any of the real issues. In fact, there AREN'T any issues, and thotful has just made them all up. Thotful is the problem and 'bashes the image" of his two siblings would be just fine if he showed up to thanksgiving, xmas, what-have-you. Oh, and why does thotful have an issue with us only wanting to spend time with him and not his wife?
Seriously, I have no patience for the dishonesty. If I play along, then the behavior just happens all over again.
Not my circus, not my monkeys.
It's hard, and I still have lingering doubts (like, oh, maybe this will work out someday and maybe "letting things go" as they put it will be fine - but no, my wife is ignored without a word spoken to her, and any complaint from thotful about it is "mistaken or misinformed").I guess I'm getting to a space where the crazy just doesn't stick anymore. MOst if not all of their arguments just make no sense whatsoever. You can't argue with crazy. So, you just figure things out for yourself and make a move on that.
One day at a time. It hurts and it burns me inside, but I gotta live. I have a life outside of them - I don't have to be there as my other family enable the abusive behavior. I can go live my own life in peace.
Not my Circus, not my monkeys... I've never heard that before, I'm claiming it as my own. I really like that. thanks.
Not only can one not argue with crazy, you can't reason with it either. I've tried and failed and when I was still in the circus others tried with me and couldn't!
I'll tell you... my monkeys really don't like it when I don't play their games, they especially dislike it when I don't play my (old) family role. I told one of my sisters the other week "I've resigned from that role" - they didn't like it - and you know what I have resigned, I wrote the role down on a piece of paper using my non dominant hand with the words 'I resigned' written in large friendly letters and I've tossed it in the bin.... so I've come to the point where I don't care whether they care or not. I'm not playing and that's that. I resigned.
BTW... My resignation may not have been well received or respected i.e. they still want me to play. I feel better for it though.
M