Originally Posted by
Morning Glory 
Mejo,
I used to be right where you are right now. I understand all of the emotions you are going through. Even wanting to beg someone who abuses to love you.
It is a complicated issue full of overwhelming emotions.
It doesn't matter why you called the police. Calling them was the right thing to do for you and your children.
When you live in an abusive situation you lose your power. It takes some time after you leave the abusive situation to get your power back again so you feel you can stand on your own two feet and take care of yourself. All of the abuse is his fault. Calling the police was the first step in regaining your power in your own life. It will take a lot longer to work through the other issues that make you feel that you totally need this other person and it will be a painful process.
If you can break all contact for just two weeks you are going to start feeling better.
You really need to stay alive for your children and your AH is putting your life at great risk. There were times when I could do things for my children that I couldn't do for myself. Keep yourself safe for your children.
Thank you. I feel better knowing that it is common for us to want the abuser to love us and "fix" this. It hurts to see who we are now and where we are at. It is a long fall from the top for both of us. But, I needed to do this for my kids. The therapist told me last night if I didn't, my kids would lose a little more respect for me. I have lost enough in this marriage including respect for myself. I just feel extremely hurt and empty knowing I finally placed the final nail in the coffin. But I think what hurt me the most out of all of this was the fact he physically hurt me and then continued to txt his GF all night like I mean **** to him. Like I am garbage and I don't deserve anything else but to be choked. It hurts.
I just got done filing out my statement. The officer will be over this afternoon to.pick it up. What if they don't prosecute him? What if they believe my H that I am framing him because I am crazy? Ugh. Happy freaking Thanksgiving.