Originally Posted by
LovesBulldogs79 
He had quit using and drinking, was going to a psychiatrist (still is but he is lying to the psych) and had promised me he'd stick w a regular AA schedule of meetings. That lasted maybe 4 days.
I kicked him out when I was about 6/7 weeks preg because his drinking was out of control. The night he picked me up drunk from work was the night I lost it and made him leave.
I noticed his behavior get "weird" about 5 days ago. Now I see that it perfectly coincided with his Ativan Rx getting filled. He's gone thru 60 in 5 days.
It's just that it's always SOMETHING these days. I hear you when u say that I shudnt focus on what HE does, but I guess tht is so hard for me because 1) I'm angry that he won't stop/relapses constantly and 2) we live together. Sometimes I just want to get away from him and it feels impossible. He will literally follow me into another room to proclaim his innocence! While he's got glassy, half open eyes. Ugh.
I admit, I have not gone to Al-Anon due to nerves and living in such a small town. I think part of me resents the fact that I have to be in some kind of treatment when he's the one with addictions. Immature, perhaps - but it's how I feel.
Hi, I am so sorry you are going through this, please know you are not alone. I am 39, AH is heroin addict and he takes subs and xanax. And who knows what else. Today I found 2 bottles of xanax, empty, filled in the beginning of the months by two different doctors. He took went through 60 in less then a month. AH is doing heroin, subs and xanax in between. And there is not a thing I can do about it. It is heartbreaking. I have been through this hell back and forth for several years now. AH doesnt want to get clean and I keep hoping that he will. I have kids from previous marriage, I feel horrible for them. He just relapsed again, leaving us on Thanksgiving.
We too live together. I locked the door, send him a text not to come here. And thats it. I have my own separate bank account. We do have joint loan, and I have to deal with it. Its ok. Protect as much of your life as possible. Because unfortunately you cannot count on him. Little steps.