...by the beast after a challenging competition on the weekend I am so happy to report I'm fine.
I was upset by outside events so that when I got home I wanted to use pot. But instead of giving in to the craziest urge I've had since I quit, I went to bed, then got up, had a bath and then went to bed again, ate some food, crocheted, watched TV.
It wasn't until Sunday that I realized I was being ravished by the beast. "Oh come on, you'll feel better if you just have a puff," "you can't imagine not getting high for the rest of your life," "come on it made you feel so much better," "what's the harm anyway," "you said never but never is a long time" etc etc etc. A sudden awareness of my beast had me saying, "No matter what happens, no matter how bad I might feel, no matter how strong the urge, I am never smoking pot or drinking alcohol ever again, now, not ever." Beasty begone.
I'm not sure why it took so long to remember who I was dealing with but less than 24 hours later "I" was the one back in control and my beast is back where it belongs. Gone.
I'm reading rational recovery: the new cure of substance addiction by Jack Trimpey. It makes so much sense to me I'm going to post another thread about some stuff he says.
