Originally Posted by
zackman 
I started feeling down and used alcohol thinking it would help. It didn't at all. I feel a lot of guilt and shame.
This kind of awareness is really awesome. Look at you be conscious and aware and learning!
That same kind of realization hit me at the start of my sober road back in Spring. I think I started my attempts to get a good mount in sobriety in April or May. I had a relapse after a darkness fell when dealing with my aging father. I couldn't shake it..so I stopped for "a drink".. after about a week of sobriety.
Ya..when is it ever "a drink".
A drink turned into me driving home in a black out.
But like you...I made the connection to my depression and the drink. When you drink every damn day you don't really make "connections" to anything. You just drink.