I've not brought JADE forward as one of the alanon catchphrases, I guess I've tried to work those principles in long form. for me, my biggest traps at the moment are internal; involving my own opinions on politics, religion, sex, power and fear itself. In effect, I have a lifelong habit of doing those JADE things on those topics in my own mind to provoke myself, to work up the emotions and then spend days in a state of provocation and outrage, miserable and tending to spread it around. In effect I am the single biggest threat to my own serenity.
Sorry about your MIL liz, its a sad way to go. OTOH maybe it was nice for her having you as a receptive audience, even if its wasn't a pleasant topic. Yeah AH acting like a sex obsessed douche, complete with the consequent dramatic self-righteous conclusions. I've been that way too. If he's not in recovery you're not going to convince him of anything or put him in his place. The only thing that would work on me when I was that way was for C&C to detach and not be involved in witnessing my self-assured correctness. I suppose there is not much pleasant about detaching but at least you won't be subjecting yourself to the BS- let his drinking/codie buddies listen to it instead.