Liz,
That is exactly like my ex. It was always about him, his needs, all of the time. To him my role was to decipher his needs and help to meet them. I just didn't understand that at the time.
This mentality is very typical of active addicts, narcissists and very selfish users. Your mil was right about them not changing. I think the only ones who change are a few who really work hard at a program to address this twisted thinking.