It's your ego talking guys. Those of us with addictions often are fearful inside. We interpret events through filters we have developed as coping mechanisms, often as children who experienced emotional hurts. The ego can't relate to time, so the world becomes a scary place. We are experiencing a distorted reality when we listen to that voice. Often we feel shame, worthless, etc, and blame ourselves for normal events because that's what we learned as children.
So someone does some little thing or we make a mistake, and our ego tells us it's the end of the world. We're in danger, we screwed up, we're fat, we're lazy, etc. Then our dominating side takes over in order to protect us from these exaggerated emotions, and trashes the other person or ends the relationship so it doesn't happen again.
It's a vicious cycle and the only way out, if you believe in recovery programs, is to do an inventory (4th step), or if not, by looking closely at the recurring patterns. I see my fear of abandonment and rejection being triggered all the time in relationships, and my ego then telling me stories and trying to blow everything up. I sometimes also feel inferior, or not good enough, which feeds my codependency.