Long story short - I went from "thinking about quitting", "getting ready to quit", "stopping TOMORROW" (boy did tomorrow go on forever and over and over) to just stopping.
I thought well just don`t drink for ONE day, just ONE day - there are 365 days in the year, surely if I can`t NOT drink on just ONE of them, I might as well give up and consider myself dead because this is slow suicide.
That was 11/9/14 - on day 15 now and hanging on! This has been my longest period of sobriety in ages. Couple years ago I went close to around 30 days (for the wrong reason - doing it for someone else - a guy - didn`t last). In 2009 went about 6 weeks (broken wrist from falling on ice - arm in cast couldn`t drive to store - middle of winter snow/ice- couldn`t walk to store- I would have driven had not been being watched)
Anyway, I feel physically very good - eating alot, drinking tons of water, taking vitamins, sleeping better then expected. Trying to keep as busy as possible even if it`s just housework, cleaning/organizing things, etc...By chance my hours at work nearly doubled at this time, so that was a stroke of luck as well!
I am not attending AA although I have attended occasionally off and on (more off than on) since 1991. I read here on a daily basis and intend to post more often, still a little "shy" at the moment, but appreciate everyone`s help now and in the past.
Thank you for reading.