Hi nxtjen
Good to see you here and thanks for your brave honest question
This is actually a spiritual problem that is coming out physically.
In the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous it says, "When the spiritual malady is overcome, we straighten out mentally and physically."
So we recover from the inside out, and the spiritual work straightens out the mind, which then straightens out the physical symptoms.
In AA, the way the program is truly written, the 4th Step is done in 3 parts: Resentments, Fears, and Sex Conduct. (not just Resentments.)
That is a full inventory that covers all our problems and it cross-crosses all of humanism; nothing is left uncovered.
Of course Steps 1-3 have to be done first, and 5-12 afterwards.
During some point in Steps 4-12, the person's relationships really start straightening out, including their sex feelings & conduct.
We cannot force another human being to do this work. As a "double winner", I have done it myself and it's amazing. Many Alanons in my area use the BB now too for their steps process.
The relationships I know that are the most beautiful are when both people are doing that work. I have heard some of these folks say that when they were both through the Steps in this way, and working with others, their relationship was at it's very best.
I wish you the best on what I hope becomes a spiritual journey for you both.